I find myself now in a dilemma and racking my brain as I should just proceed.
I have been two years in a committed relationship. Two years ago, my friend moved in with me. I have rented a 3 bedroom apartment for three years, which I could afford alone. Now he is in a year in New Zealand and comes back in May.
Almost at the same time I was on sick leave for depression / burn-out and now get a biennial small disability pension. Alone I can therefore no longer afford my apartment and am glad that my friend during his year abroad shall pay me a part of his rent not.
I was disappointed in him during his year abroad a few times. He has not, as discussed, reported. He has his rental share paid not on time, even though I desperately needed the money. He did not abide by agreements. Has promised that I can see him this year in any case, no matter what happens. And then it did not work. Has promised late esens to be back in January and it will be in May I know that it all does not intentionally but makes the time were my feelings by fewer and fewer.
I myself am a man who does not first thinks of itself. The intent is always to the good of others. Helpful, courteous, empathetic. My friend thinks there rather more and doing only the bare minimum for others. There are just little things that show me that he might not be the right thing. He constantly speaks only of what he will generally do everything for me, for others and in life but he lets his words and no action.
The good thing about it is that you can do anything with him. From it you will never hear it somewhere too cold, too hot, too loud, too far away, too uncomfortable. With it you can literally steal horses. Whether camp wild or spontaneous the craziest things to do, he is. I myself am a little adventurer and like to travel and in this regard it is exactly what I always wanted. But for a few months, I wonder just more often if that's enough in life. Despite several pro / con lists I'm so insecure.
Although I absolutely not the kind of person am who can be influenced by financial, so in my current gesundheitlilchen able a move is impossible. If I separate from him, but I had to leave, since I the apartment simply can not afford alone me. Although it is said that there is always a way, if the will is, so this is utopian to believe in my case. Anyone who ever had to struggle with depression / burn-out, who knows that not even the everyday is to master.
What shall I do? I thought I have to wait until he is back and I will also. Just my feeling tells me that it is not the man of my life :-(