I'm in the situation that has been made in the relationship from both sides quasi final few days ago and but he probably sees it as that would not be if I would change me. So it feels now so, as if I want to finish it (alone) and I still am the (sole) reason why it did not work. This feels doubly stupid and I know the degree absolutely not what is right and what is wrong. It's all still contradictory and somehow makes no sense and I vacillate now for days between: "It's better this way," and "What if I am guilty but ... he says even that he does not really want it from is and it is very very bad .. I should then everything undone? " The f ** kt my head and I really really need help or maybe a few plausible findings on which I myself do not get degrees.
We recently just quarreled and mostly since trifles. For me, the dispute all ran off to a similar scheme: He says something that provokes me or annoys me with something, I will respond, he does not like my reaction and the discussion begins. In the discussion itself is allowed to mutually hardly have a voice and even if I then sometime'm so done by discussing it babbles still long half an hour more to me until I realize either that he is in the right or up I just go because I have no desire for the drivel and the discussion is then thus ended. After contending he sometimes came true again and wanted to do good weather, but I can not because as soon be back to normal. That was then mostly not good. Eventually, it was probably so that he no longer has the seen to approach me and only I had to be the one that makes. I can something but not even three times not when I know that I am not in the wrong. So it was at some point the extent that we were so annoyed each other that we only angezickt and then went in the dispute or one days had silence. I had the feeling that we are bogged down and our communication is not (more?) Works and have addressed that. He was but somehow never willing to look for a real solution to it - which would have been a compromise in my eyes from "both have to do something." In his opinion, am I alone the problem and I alone would have to change something. He sees no fault with him. He has persuaded me so long until I almost believed it and I just felt bad. Eventually, it then has given me, there was a conversation, he meant him anyway pisses all and we have quasi both ends. And now a few days later, he comes to me here so he finds it a pity and if I had changed which would not be etc. Nix understand :(
The best answer
You're right when you call feelings as swaying. Emotions are very important, on the other hand in many things not necessarily the best guide. Since feelings (as you can see already the term 'high shooting / boiling emotions') often short-term nature, you can recognize their authority most likely after a certain time. If after some time feelings are stabilizing at the same as the mind, it was the right decision.
In relations often involves complex things. When is disputed, especially when very often quarreled, it rarely goes wrong in assuming, basically that it was about something else than you think ... A recent dispute then ignited by only one and of itself perhaps harmless occasion. Or in itself harmless situation is representative of an uneasy constellation in the relationship. If you do not such as listening, or if one is itself constantly untergebuttert, then you explode even with a harmless manifestation of this thing. Really good to find out what it is in the end, one can in a good relationship advice if a neutral moderator who in such matters has experience, either your finger on the actual wound sets, or manages to make a expemplarische situation arises in the is really about what is the true cause. Since your friend to so something is not ready probably, you have to decide for themselves what is right for you. The best advice is probably, first leave it in the separation, the feelings can set and observe what even come up for other feelings that you have not even felt in the current situation, for example, desire or love etc ....
For many separations it goes both parties only times as you both and they zermattern in the first weeks of the brain and sway back and forth. After a year or so, most are then but the decision d'accord and noted that they have both benefited from the separation. When you come with the passage of time to a different result, you can still change your mind is yes.
Partnership requires active work! You have to actively shape partnership. You have to communicate what you do not like; what you'd like to do and what one lacks. One must be ready to reach out to others and to compromise!
There are separations, blame and guilt towards her, at which ultimately has no real fault but where only realized that it just does not really fit or not can be lived forever ....... and so I see it with you both!!! Your friend feels as hub of the world and you're annoyed by his eternal desires for change and lets you permanently provoke ..... but what I can understand to Tel !!!
The one who appreciates you and loves you, knows that you only once are ........ undwürde much emotional deal with you, if true love is in play and would.
Life is like a canvas. Every morning you can search for you if you weiterpinselst the old image or a new start. For the world you are somebody, but for somebody you are the world ..... and that should be the right person with whom you can live with joy the love while you happy ..... and not blame racking your head !!!!
By screeching halt "separation" are the whole idea in the past, so let's leave, looking for you when internal peace has returned with you a new chance ....... luck where you can be the way you are but also learn to compromise to respond !!!!