Hi folks, I am 21 years old and have the following problem: therefore I am an only child and am ready grew up in comfortable circumstances, my father is a bigwig in an authority and my mother is currently prevented by serious illness (she had) - unemployed are at least 5 years. So my point is that I was very strictly brought up ... they sent me to high school and I'm there but after 4 years changed to the junior high school because my grades were not as good. That was the first real sticking point with us. So I had to be at home and probably even watch TV until 21:30 at weekends 14/15/16 always 21h. So anyway ... anyway, I'm also drawn simultaneously with 18 to my friend in the city and its relationship with my parents has really improved a lot. Now we split up 6 months ago and I recovered at home with my parents! And I'm just finished with the world. I'll just check and have no privacy .... examples: as I said I'm 21 ... and through my training I usually mid-week times three days off ... if I still after 22 clock the house wants to leave is huge theater ... "have you ever looked at the clock Miss, you Tick probably not" .... another Ex: I'm with my girlfriend and we go for a beer ... I come home and there is the same theater .... "you have not always been so much alcohol to drink" (huge yelling) ... also my purse is controlled when I'm asleep ... my car is searched .... and with 21 it normal that you sometimes has its secrets, but I could, for example, not even a sex toy in my room to hide ... I bet that had my parents after min. 48 hours also found .... and that pisses me off like that. ... my mother told me recently accused I would take drugs ... (she throws me for at least 6 years every night before) ... so therefore I on eBay ordered a drug test .... of course be my letters and packages home also opened ... so there was again huge theater "why is there a drug test in the mailbox" ..... Another example ..... I had brought my last for the school a medical card because I had to work 10 days and have simply not managed ... I then early in the morning go have me sleep with girlfriend ner laid back .... so now my car had in the workshop (where the sickness certificates are still in it) .... where I am next day came home from work home related medical bills on the table and my parents wanted to know what I had to say .... my father is so where I was working down to the garage and has searched my car nice .... I could go so many things ... I love my parents really but I am 21 and need my privacy .... what can I do?
The best answer
Soo ... You are 21 damn! The opening of foreign letters and parcels is punishable, as there is the secrecy in Germany. You could even show when it becomes too much.
As I read, you have an education, earn as your own money ... search you but a small apartment or watch whether there are free shared flat ind your area. Talk sensibly with your parents and make them understand that you are of legal age and can decide how long you are away and when you come home, how much alcohol you want to drink, etc. They have absolutely no right to you in interfering there.
You have to prevail because even if there will be noise! From because: while you still live with us ....... there is not! Make it clear that you are responsible for your adult life itself and have also under control! They have worried about you, ok - but such a freaky control is not at all. Since you can only conclude everything and forbid them not ask, just catching anything from you. Council: you seeking an affordable WG, because I think otherwise you get no rest 1
you are of legal age, therefore, allowed to you to do what you want. only thing is, if your parents you throw out of the apartment then you have the ass card. therefore, speak comfortably with your parents and will assist not as if you're mad. it's your life. or if you have enough money you then examined a cheap apartment (for now) then you have so much privacy as you only need. or if it is not at all more, then display
I can only say that they are violating the secrecy of correspondence and not allowed to go to your car, that is a fact and can you even theoretically sue (if that is the best way is ne other question). Otherwise, I'd say go either confrontation and penetrated, or the whole ausm way. Just tell them why you times they could sue everything. And then we'll see, but I know the backgrounds of course not
Talk to them! If you were now 13 or so, I could not understand many things, but with 21 is that pretty wicked!
Letters / open packages is illegal and falls under the secrecy of correspondence, in this point, you could be an indication do what you probably do not want, and even ransack pocket Browse car is easy penetration into the private atmosphere!
Otherwise you can ask again if no one else has room for you (friend, family, ..) and then threaten to simply take off when they do not even let go.
then do not want to stop it, you have to find another way, but it can not go on definitely. You still think you're her little child, they need to protect, and do that just by their compulsion to control. Let that not like, even if you love them!
Sorry, but I have not read the entire story. That's not as important as you like even mention 21 years old are!
Find yourself a shared apartment, and come out! At 21, you can already stand on their own two feet! However, if you want to use the luxury of hotel-parents yet, one must also to certain rules of coexistence and keep these rules now give time before those who provide the living space available!
Setting out on its own feet - with all the consequences, of course!
I wish you much success and a carefree life you!
Can not you take off That's pure horror: O
The only solution is to take off. Grit your teeth until you can afford it, or get yourself a cheap WG.
hmm that's bad really talk time with your parents, I am 17 and my parents are * were * just like your clear I'm still 17 and terilweise still a child but that was just too bad my parents are high a believer (islam) no alk no drugs not no kuryen trousers etc was very bad for me but I'm with my father and mother spoke only have yelled me because I'm a girl and not mine may tear open flap but nachner time they have I turned gets'm glad that they are not me forcing more I ne headscarf get dressed must
Move out. You have already mentioned that the relations have improved also the first time ...
Be glad your parents protect you they are afraid that you, but what happens when you get married it's over ...
Why did you not have a flat, if you have a job?
Pick your own apartment.
This is very, very bad! Weirs you with tooth and nail. Then tell it, please, please a bottle of milk, but you should not forget the pacifier.