Hi My friend and I have been together for almost 11 years.
In our relationship there was more down than up's's.
We also had many disputes that ended a few times in physical violence and there was much dispute, usually for money.
The communication between us is not exactly the best. I'm often not listened or he cuts me constantly the word kratom I can not talk about the end of it.
We do not have much in common, different idea of life, we see the world completely differently and our goals are not similar.
Since 2 years I make up my Abi and he had to start the happiness training.
But because of school for which I have decided it was until about a month full of contrast. This has to Led we fought again. He wanted the I-terminating and rather begin an education, because it would be better in his eyes and threatened to make statements when I decide it for school. I did not impress me and told him that I will stay definitely make the 2 years that I still continue and it should support me and not stand in the way.
Thereafter, it was a bit dirty. He wrote me things very went below the belt, but I did not let myself out.
We had again separated thereafter, however, the separation held this time only 3 weeks.
He then apologized to me, I forgave him and we have reconciled us again.
That was not the first time we disconnect ourselves and such clashes occur from time to time before, but I forgive him again. He also tells that, nevertheless, very loves me and introduced can not be with another woman, not to be seen with me another.
The Lagehat now somewhat improved, and we no longer argue so often, but I still yearn for something new anyway.
I had met another man at our first separation, with which I have understood brilliantly and who had somehow given me a good feeling. This man I meet very often since. I have the feeling that there might be reason for my feelings of another man.
He's funny, we have similar interests, we like the similar things and we meet very often, even in a different city!
I can not really me erkären why I have this feeling.
I feel not good.
I would like to hear your views without being offended.
My text is I think a bit messy but I hope you can understand what I'm saying it anyway.
And I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 32nd
The best answer
I'm sorry, but you behave like children. Alone this one-off game is silly.
If everything is as bad as you say it, I wonder how you're 11 years get along. If I feel a person a certain aversion, then I go this person out of the way, is not it?
Moreover, it is strange that you are gone on the whole time seemingly not intervened. - What kinde / apartment / house etc.?
If you can not get aushälst with him - go! what have you to lose?
Only a few days ago you of your on-off relationship with the reported issue how you solve it can. Here you report physical violence and poor communication in the relationship with the question "Why I long despite Relationship for something new?" From a separation desire here is not more talk. You've never had so many questions about your relationship and get many good answers. Only third parties to ask for their opinion, however, does not solve your problem this you have to actively change. You are living a situation of dependency from which each independent and healthy thinking person would have been solved long ago, alone though physical violence is in the room. I've got so used to the impression that you remember that you have that you have not really going to change anything. Basically you can you just help yourself.
now I have the whole text I wrote you clicked away during copying ... look, these words have helped me a lot when I broke up. all love, momolo13
Duwirst always have enough power to do the right thing, but never enough energy to maintain the wrong thing.
Wiemerkst you that you are doing the wrong thing?
Consequences: depression, fatigue, irritability, restlessness, conflict, illness.
Wiebringst get your energy back into the swing?
Through honesty, forgiveness - and meeting long overdue decisions.
For Nothing escapes you more energy, than to ignore the voice of your heart.
So if you begin grants what then you will always look back with nem other. best you're talking about and you know how unhappy tell him it makes you so when it passes between you. if it does not get better then you should perhaps end the relationship. art of a peaceful. and then maybe irgentwann ne new take. but only if you're sure. So that's my tip :) But does what is right for you
LG Annikaze :)
Have only half of your text read and I immediately knew that you have never worked apparently compromises out secondly you have messed up by a lack of communication your bond. Last but not least it seems to me as if he would patronize you, or keep as a slave.
The ultimatum to the shows alone is that he villeicht tried your way through "blackmail" to keep under control, he does so because he has to lose you fear and you notice this you'll alien to him.
You have to speak with him absolutely again! It seems to me as if you're about to break up, so put HIM ultimatum if he just afraid of it he will go to again talk to you relaxed and calm about everything. However, both should each after another have a chance to say something about it. And you should this crucial conversation not do at home, but villeicht on a calm and neutral environment (parking, picnic etc ...).
Find out what he is afraid, why he wants to keep you in check!
That you're doing at all next, because at first you should test him recite what you have to complain about him and your situation. Of course you can not just blame him, but also to respond to your mistakes. Then he carries you in front of what he does not like. After that their lists together on what your fears are, what have you ever for destinations in the coming years and what you can change it. This is best done by her mitnehmt 2 list and there is a positive and writes down a negative side. So you see what you have in common to positive and negative. The negative, which can disturb you both her yes discuss together and so solve the both sides to peace are. Whether one is a positive thing written down but the other feels this as a negative, you should find something in between.
You can collect on a paper and then do in a bottle and simply gemeinsamm throw into a river and everything negative, so of you and your friend.
So you see if you can still live together further, if you could even find a solution ...
However, what is funny is that it "prohibits" you reach a better level. Did you not even him gefrat why he does not want? Yes that you may make an education, but why does he want that? Want it that you're just as "goofy" as he or he does not just want you earn more than he? Possible walks through the cliché man working woman stays at home ...
Villeicht you should show him that it has positive when you do your Abi and thus somewhat make out of your life and of course bring more money into the coffers. Yes
Now to the main issue:
You have a lot of problems and a lot of negative in your relationship, it is therefore clear that you want to get away.
Alerdings you should think in advance how you could manage to keep 11 whole years together by!
In addition, you should consider why you want something new, it is the everyday, he noticed you hardly and their only quarrel when you see you you you. Villeicht just missing again the "momentum" in this respect.
Think about what is different from the year before that? What he does not know what he does rather ...
It can also be good that you lack the sexual? because who is arguing hardly be sexually active, since it is so annoying.
Is he you at all, nor any friends? Shows he still he loves you? Says he still he loves you?
Think about what has simply become commonplace in your relationship and speaks dadrüber! Seriously speak dadrüber what you have for fantasies, talking dadrüber what you missed on your partner!
Finally, just to say that who wants to change something, he should consider just why it should be changed and why it is so as it just seems!
1). Make it absolutely clear that you aushällst it no longer, and tell him the ultimatum that you again about everything talk or you died with him from him, since he probably then will not compromise. You can you the way also a day for free or keep their soltet do that!
2). Holt after the talks that have failed or neglected her. What man remains in the course of life even to the same fantasies as before? What common goals have you? What do you miss most eagerly to him or even yourself? talk to each eifnach about everything in peace.
3). As it comes to these arguments, who captures and why he does that?
Times have a schelchten day is oke but life really is keeping the of no! Is Arguing villeicht a Abwehhaltung? he wants no show weakness? (Who denies something to hide and want to remain anonymous!) = Confidence missing!
4). Why do you not familiar? Was there an incident? Lie ye about, even if there are several reasons to?
Analyzes error only with you, then the other!
can you even think that you're better than a wife beater and someone you deserved offended, you can not without him, because he still supports you and apparently it tries to do well and loves you yet again - as you yourself inwardly not strongest are and he're satisfied you use a you probably still together with him.
Since it is already over 11 years draws, yes mhh since wirste ALWAYS on this relationship look back and compare all the harder it will fall completely to let you go, and I think that it vllt not be possible is ..
Important would be in my eyes, you're once even happy with you. Partner to ever be or not, that you have to get him out without a perfect happy and above all independent people.
PS: You did not answer my PN -.-
That sounds like no relationship where there are times normal differences that can rid the world again through work. To me that sounds like a love-hate relationship. Do not go with and can not do without. Do not you think it would be best to end the relationship peacefully and to reorient themselves?
The guy sounds like an illegal acting offenders. Do what you think is right and not what some people say in forums.